Ivor Steven: Ripe Tomatoes and a Garden Spade

 

 

 

Ripe Tomatoes and a Garden Spade

 

Only another week to go

I’ll be on the cruise

I’m not feeling nervous

More that I’m fearful

Scared my plan might go amiss

Before the high seas deliver bliss

 

Taking two suitcases is normal

Other passengers may have three

I won’t look suspicious

I’ve bagged her precisely

Chopped her into small pieces

Stored separately in the freezer

 

The old witch, I caught her trespassing

In my private courtyard

Stealing my precious cherry tomatoes

I whacked her with my garden spade

Across the top of her green head

I didn’t hit her too hard

She lay there bleeding, not dead

How dare she come into my yard

She’s pleading with me, no mercy I said

And I dragged her into the shed

 

 

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