SMM Christmas Carols: Spreading Holiday Fear

 

Put on your Santa hat—it’s time to spread some holiday fear! Learn the words to these frosty SMM carols and sing along…if you dare. Are you in a jolly mood? Write an evil SMM carol and then share your creation in the comment section.

Jingle Yells

 

 

Jingle yells, jingle yells
yelling all the way!
Oh what fun it is to have died in a no remorse whoopin’ melee
Jingle yells, jingle yells
yelling all the way!
Oh what fun it is to have died in a no remorse whoppin’ melee
Bleeding on the snow
During my no remorse whoppin’ melee
under the graveyard, all we feel is woe
Yelling all the way—ahhh! ahhh! ahhh!
Heads and spine ring
Making our spirits fight
What fun it is to die and sing a depressing song tonight
Jingle yells, j-j-jingle yells
Yelling all the way!
O’ what fun it is to have died in a no remorse whoppin’ melee
Jingle yells, j-j-jingle yells
Yelling all the way!
O’ what a lot of fun, what a lot of fun to die and sing in a no remorse whoppin’ melee
Bleeding on the snow (we are bleeding)
In a no remorse (whopping melee)
Under the graveyard, we go (under the graveyard we go, we go)
We are dying all the way (all the way)
Heads and spine ring
Making our spirits fight
What fun it is to die and sing a depressing song till night
Jingle yells, jingle yells
Yelling all the way!
O’ what fun it is to die in a no remorse whoppin’ melee
Jingle yells, jingle yells
Yelling all the way!
O’ what fun it is to die in a no remorse whoppin’ melee
Jingle yells, jingle yells
O’ what fun it will in a no remorse whoppin’ melee
Jingle yells, jingle yells
O’ what fun it is to die in a no remorse whoppin’ melee
(Jingle yells, jingle yells
Yelling all the way!)

 

 

 

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I Saw Mommy Killing Santa Claus

 

Wow, mommy’s killing Santa Claus!
I saw Mommy killing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
She slaughtered the fat guy like a sheep
With daddy’s razor blade now buried into him pretty deep
Damn. I saw mommy slashing Santa Claus
Turning his snowy white beard bloody red
And now he can’t ho-ho-ho cuz he’s dead
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy killing Santa Claus last night!

 

 

 

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Rudolph the Red-knifed Reindeer

 

You know Disaster, and Danger, and Plunder, and Vermin…Damnit and Corpus, and Murder, and Bitchin…but do you recall the most infamous reindeer of all?

Rudolph, the red-knifed reindeer
Had a very shiny knife
And if you ever saw it,
You would beg for your life.

All of the other reindeer,
Used to scream and call God’s name.
They’d run away from Rudolph
Or risk getting sliced and maimed.

Then one bloody Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
“Rudolph with your knife so sharp,
Won’t you stab my wife and roll her in a tarp?”
Then all the reindeer loved him
And they shouted out with glee
“Rudolph the red-knifed reindeer,
Kill Mrs. Claus but let us be!”

 

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Poet Rummager

FlyTrapMan

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